Collision
by Ameraka
Summary: Jason and Connie have been through a lot in the past few months. But now, things have settled down, and Jason thinks this might be a good time to propose. This is kind of a transition from the Fallout series to the next stories. Author's notes in profile. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

Jason lay on his beach towel, drying off in the sun, water dripping off his hair into the sand. His whole body tingled with the invigorating exercise of swimming in the still rather cold water of Trickle Lake.

Connie lay beside him on her green beach towel, her damp hair ruffled, shadowing her upturned nose, her enticing lips. He longed to bury his fingers in her hair, kiss her. Feel her sun-kissed skin against his.

How could one love someone any more than this? But each day, she was more a part of his soul.

And every day, it astounded him that she returned his love. _What do I have to offer?_ he wondered. _Compared to her….I am a shadow. A shadow to her sun. _

_I need to be near her. I am so close—and yet, to be even closer—bound together for eternity—_

Connie turned, looked at him, leaning on one elbow. "Are you okay, Jason?"

"I'm okay. Why?"

"It's just that…you seem a little quiet today. Like you're thinking about something."

"I know, it doesn't happen often."

"Oh Jason!"

He laughed. "I'm thinking about you, what else?"

"Oh, like what?" Her long lashes shadowed her cheeks.

"How beautiful you are."

A blush spread across her cheeks. "I can't look very good right now! I must be a mess." She buried a hand into her tousled brown hair.

"That makes it even better." He smiled. Caught her eyes. She laughed. Reached out, ran her hand down his cheek. His face burned with the path of her touch.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Jason. I'm glad I dragged you out to the beach."

"You didn't drag me—I—"

"You didn't really want to come, though. And now you're glad you did, right?"

"Well…yeah. We should've come sooner, except the beach wasn't open because it's been so cold."

"And we've been doing so many other things. And then there was…" She halted, pain etching her face.

"Your mom."

"Yeah." Tears tightened her voice. "Thanks for being there for me." She slid over to him, kissed him on the cheek.

"You were there for me too."

"I know. I know, Jason." Her eyes caught his, brimming with the pain they'd suffered. "But this is another step. I know it wasn't easy for you."

"Well, we're almost the only ones here, so it doesn't bother me too much." He glanced at the kids down the beach, tossing a ball in the air. "You're the one that matters, and you've seen me in a….much worse state."

"It's the first time I've seen you healed, though. It reminds me of…how much you went through. But your scars are kind of overshadowed by something else."

"What?"

"Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?" Her eyes flitted across him appreciatively. Heat infused his face.

"I try not to look in a mirror."

"Well, let's just say all your workouts have paid off." She gave a little laugh, looked down.

"I have to keep in shape. I'm not about to show off after…this." His fingers brushed the knife scar on his left shoulder.

"Well, your scars make it look like no one should mess with you."

"If they were just battle wounds, I wouldn't mind as much. I'm not that vain. But as much as I've gotten over things, I'd rather keep it private. Every time someone sees them, it's like the wounds have been opened again. It's hard to explain. It's just…it's not a mark of pride to be tortured. It's vulnerability—when he did this, I couldn't move, couldn't fight back—" The phantom pain of panic rose in his chest. He fought it down. "I don't think I'll ever completely get over this."

"But Jason—your scars mean that you did get over it. You got out. They did heal, Jason. They remind you that you overcame so much."

"I know. He can't hurt me anymore—and I can't hurt myself by not forgiving him. And in some ways, the hardest things—the fear, not forgiving myself—you helped me with. But it'll always be there. The deepest scars are here." He pressed his hand over his heart.

"I'll always be there for you, Jason."

"And I'll always be there for you."

She kissed his cheek. Then, her lips fell to his. He leaned into the kiss, her hand entwined in his.


	2. Chapter 2

Jason's heart crashed against his chest. He pressed some numbers on his cell phone, his hands shaking.

_What if he doesn't answer?_ thought Jason. _I'll have to go through this all over again_.

7 rings.

8 rings.

Jason almost hit the 'end' button but a voice answered. "Hello?"

"Hi," said Jason. "Is this Bill Kendall?"

"This is Bill. Who's this?"

"Jason. Jason Whittaker."

"Jason….oh. I believe I met you at my mother's funeral. You're John Whittaker's son, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Jason grasped the edge of the kitchen chair to steady himself. It wasn't often he was at such a loss for words.

"Are you calling about Connie?"

"Yes."

"She's all right, isn't she?" An edge of alarm tinged Bill's voice.

"She's fine. I just saw her this morning at church."

"Ohh. Oh, good." He sounded relieved. "What are you calling about, then?"

"I—I don't know you very well, and I…don't quite know how to approach this—it would have been better to meet face to face but—"

"But I'm a hard man to get ahold of, I know. It was a miracle you caught me just now; I was on the way out the door to a meeting."

"I'm sorry—this won't take long."

"That's okay. The board can afford to wait. What is it?"

"I—I—"

"Spit it out."

"I love your daughter."

Silence. Jason froze, only his heart beating in his ears.

A breath at the other end of the line. "I see. You could have given me a heads up—what was your name again?"

"Jason."

"Right. But I suppose I haven't really been around….She has her own life and…I'm not really a part of it. So, what, you're asking me for her hand in marriage?"

"Yes. I am."

"Well. That's a bit old-fashioned, don't you think? Besides, if I said no, wouldn't you just go ahead anyway?"

"Well…"

"Connie's a grown woman, and she'll do what she thinks is right without my permission. Why don't you ask Whit—he's more of a father to her than I am."

"You _are_ her father, Mr. Kendall. I think she'd want you to be a part of—this. And a part of her wedding…if she says yes."

"So you think there are any doubts of her saying yes? Does she love you?"

"She…told me she does."

"And what makes you think you deserve her? Because you're a Whittaker?"

"No. I'll never deserve her. But I love her. I want her to be happy. I want to do everything I can to make her happy—and to be there for her when she needs me. To be beside her for the rest of my life."

"I see." He didn't speak for a moment. When he did, his voice was hoarse. "Then you will be a better man than I am. I do love her, you know. Tell her that."

"I will."

"And Jason—"

"Yes?"

"You have my permission."

The phone clicked off.

Jason sank down into the chair, a heavy burden lifting from his shoulders. Then, a few moments later, he pushed himself to his feet, and headed out to the car. There was another person he needed to ask.


	3. Chapter 3

Jason crept into the Bible Room. Everything was dark except for the lights blinking on the Imagination Station. _Dad must be inside, _he thought_. I'll just have to wait._

He paced the room, absently touching displays, making them come alive. Soon the room was filled with a cacophony of voices, the sound of crashing waves, trumpets, and howls, barks and roars.

He headed toward the secret computer room to turn them all off, but he only got a few steps before the door of the Imagination Station opened. "What's going on—" His father strode up to him, speaking over the noise. "Hi, Jason. I thought it was a malfunction that set off everything at once."

"Sorry. I just—was waiting and—needed some company. Or distraction."

"Are you okay, Jason?"

"I'm fine. It's just that—"

Whit held up one hand. "Maybe we should turn off these displays so we can actually hear each other."

"Good idea."

Whit went into the computer room, and after a moment, the sound cut off. Silence draped the room.

Whit walked back. "What is it, Jason?"

"I called Bill today."

"You—oh. Jason! You asked him about Connie?"

"Yeah. You wouldn't believe how nervous I was."

"What did he say?"

"He said yes. I still can't believe it. I could…ask her tonight, if I wanted to."

"Will you?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet. She'd probably want something more elaborate than I can come up with at the spur of the moment. But I don't know if I can wait that long."

"I think I know what she'll say."

"I don't know if _I'd_ say yes to me."

"Then it's a good thing she's not you." His father smiled. "I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"I just know that I love her, and there's something between us that's special, that we don't have when we're separate—It's worth fighting for."

Whit nodded.

"Anyway, I came over because I wanted to ask you if it was okay. Because she's like a daughter to you, and—"

His father threw his arms around him. "What did you think I'd say?" he said, voice hoarse with emotion. He stepped back, his hand clasping Jason's shoulder. A tear shone in his eyes. "I was wondering when you were going to ask her.

"Come with me."

Jason followed him into his office. Then, his father took the picture of a safe off of the wall, revealing the safe behind it. He opened it, lifted out a small blue box, and held it reverently in his hand. Flipped it open.

A diamond glittered inside, a star against the black velvet.

A jolt hit Jason's heart. He'd seen that ring before.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Jenny's," said his father softly.

"I can't—I mean, it's Mom's."

"I think….she'd want you to have it."

An ache pierced Jason's heart. He fought back tears. He took the box in his hand. It was so light—too light, considering how much of his world lay inside it.

He gave his father a hug. "Thanks, Dad. For everything." Then he dashed down the stairs, down through the shop. The door jingled above him and he stepped out into the evening, the sky painted with brilliant strokes of fiery orange.


	4. Chapter 4

Jason sat in his car in front of Whit's End, the engine idling. The ring box sat on the dashboard.

His heart throbbed as if it were trying to rip through his chest. His hand strangled the steering wheel.

_I have to ask her_, he thought. _I can't wait another moment without her answer. But she probably wants a spectacular engagement—and she deserves one. I'll just go get her some flowers tonight. _

He drove to Gower's Flower Shop and bought a dozen roses. For some unknown reason, he'd never bought her a dozen before.

Then he drove to her house. Before he knew it, he found himself standing on the doorstep, the flowers in one hand, the ring box in the other. The roses lay across his arm, their leaves cool, their thorns pricking his skin.

He pressed the doorbell. An eternity ticked by.

The door creaked open.

She stood there, her face like an unfolding rose. Golden sunset light sparkled in her hair.

"Jason! These—these are beautiful!"

He handed the roses to her; she cradled them in her arms and bent over them to smell them. A strand of copper-brown hair slipped across her cheek.

"Well, come on in. I'm making some supper. We could watch a movie, too, if you want." She turned to go inside, her hand grasping the edge of the door.

He couldn't move.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "What do you have there?" She looked down at the ring box in his hand. "Is it another surprise? I have to admit, these are the kinds of surprises I like." She smiled, her eyes drawing him in, enchanting him.

He fell to his knees. Opened the box, and held it out, an offering to her.

"What's—Oh! Oh, Jason!" Her hands flew to her face. "Are you asking me—?"

"Will you—"

"Yes! Oh, yes, Jason! This is—I can't believe it!" He lifted the ring with a trembling hand. Slipped it on her finger before he had a chance to drop it. His fingers brushed hers. Thrills laced through him.

She knelt beside him, threw her arms around his neck. Her cheek pressed against his. Hot tears fell onto his cheek, mingling with his own.


	5. Chapter 5

Connie raced around the kitchen in a daze. The ring burned on her finger like a brilliant star. She fumbled around for a vase in the bottom cupboard, dragged one out. Filled it with water from the sink, stuck the roses into it, and set them on the counter. All the while, the images poured through her mind of what had just happened. A glow burned inside her chest, like a miniature sun.

She snatched the pasta off the stove, poured it into a strainer. Some of the noodles tumbled into the sink. "Oh, great."

"Do you need any help?" Jason asked, lingering in the shadows just outside the dared not look at him directly for fear the spark would snap into flame.

"That's okay."

"I could set the table."

"If you want to."

He opened the cupboard and took out some plates and some silverware from the drawer. Then he went into the dining room and turned on the light.

She shredded some cheese into the somewhat overdone macaroni. Stirred the summer squash, beans and snap peas, and poured some soy sauce into it, hoping to hide the burned flavor. She carried the bowl and the skillet into the dining room. Steam sent a burnt-vegetable smell into the air.

Then she grabbed the roses and set them in the middle of the table between the macaroni and stir fry.

She sat down. Her left hand lay on the table, the ring glittering under the light of the chandelier. "It's so beautiful," she said.

"It was Mom's."

"Are you sure you want to give it to me?"

"I can't think of anyone more worthy to have it. I don't think she would, either."

"Oh…oh, Jason." Pain struck her heart. For him to feel she was worthy of his mother's ring…."I'm honored."

She spooned some food onto her plate. And then stared at it. Eating didn't seem very important right now.

Clinks and clanks from silverware striking porcelain.

"Mm. This is good, Connie."

"Thanks." She could barely taste it herself. Her whole body hummed with delight, and wonder, and amazement. She risked a glance at him; his eyes caught hers.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"About what?"

"I should've thought of a better proposal. I'm not the kind of person who likes to wait in the first place, and when you're concerned—I just….couldn't help it."

"It's perfect, Jason. I couldn't imagine anything better. Besides, you're the only thing I really want, anyway."

He stood, leaned across the table. She met him in a kiss. When she set her hand on the table to steady herself, the bowl clinked against the vase, almost tipping it over. She stepped back, only to meet him again at the end of the table. His hand slipped around her waist. His lips touched her cheek, and then, his mouth devoured hers.

She reached up, traced his beautiful face. Slid her hand into his hair, then gently along his jawline, her hand cupping his chin. Her thumb brushed the scar along his cheekbone.

He flinched away.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" She drew back.

"No, I'm sorry!" His eyes flashed with pain. "You need to push me like that sometimes. Are you sure you still want someone who's got all this baggage?"

"I have some of my own, too. When Mom died, I was kind of…crazy."

"But you didn't push people away."

"I was kind of the opposite. I got all clingy."

"I didn't mind," he smiled. Pulled her close, and whispered close to her ear, "I love you."

"I love you, Jason."

"Then I don't see why we shouldn't…if we love each other…..He held her shoulders and looked at her. "It might be too crazy—but I don't see a real reason why we couldn't just—be together right now. We wouldn't have to wait."

"What do you mean?"

"We could get married. Tonight."

"Tonight?" She couldn't grasp what he was saying.

"We could pull a Eugene. Get married now, and then have a wedding later."

"Well, I might not feel as rushed planning it…. Do you really think we could?" Her heart fluttered with the possibility.

"I could get a justice of the peace. I've tried it before, you know."

She nodded.

"I love you and I can't stand another day without you."

"Are we really doing this?"

"Why not?"

"Jason!" Her heart pounded. Looking at him, she couldn't believe they'd be even closer than they were now. She looked down at her T-shirt and jeans. "I can't go like this!"

"It doesn't matter." He grasped her hand with the ring on it. "_This _is all that matters."

"I can call them on the way over," she said, excitement blazing through her. _We're getting married!_

They headed out the door. The last of the sunset was dying in the west. Cool air blew across her skin. The air smelled like earth and grass and flowers.

He stopped. "Connie—wait. Maybe…we're going too fast. I'm just not thinking straight right now. We should probably think and pray about this first. I want to do this right from the beginning. It's one thing to get engaged—but to get married—"

She nodded. "I know what you mean. It's just that…I don't want to spend any more time not this close to you."

"I don't want to spend another day apart from you, either." He gave her a quick kiss on her mouth. Then, he strode down the steps, and the car door slammed behind him. He drove off into the darkness. Leaving her alone, on the doorstep where he'd asked her to be his, forever.


	6. Chapter 6

Jason awoke, his chest pounding from a nightmare. _Not again_, he thought. He looked at the rumpled bed sheet beside him and thought how much he'd love to wake up to Connie's face instead of the lingering afterimage of the horrors he re-lived almost nightly.

He looked at the clock. 5:20. _Maybe I should just get up,_ he thought. _Better than going back into that torture chamber._

He crawled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. Turned on the tea kettle and leaned his arms against the counter, his head in his hands. _I'm already exhausted, and the day hasn't started yet. _

The teapot whistled, and Jason whisked it off of the burner and poured some hot water into his mug. Then he sat down on the couch and set the tea on the coffee table to let it steep.

He was just about to take a sip when his phone rang. He jumped, and snatched it off of the counter. The screen said "Restricted".

"This is Jason," he said.

"Jason? It's Tasha."

"Tasha! It's been…a long time."

"More than a year."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I—was on a deep cover assignment during most of that time. I only recently got back. I…I'm sorry to hear what happened. How that madman escaped—I can't help but wish I'd have been there. If not to stop him, then to be there for you."

"It…wasn't easy. But Connie helped me through it."

"I know how much she helped you the first time."

"Tasha, I—I need to tell you this. Connie and I—well—I love her. I just asked her to marry me last night." Joy surged through him at this; saying it made it more real somehow.

"That's wonderful, Jason." Years of unspoken words hung between them, of space and diverging experiences and roads not taken. "I'll always love you, but I've come to terms with what's happened. Last year, I came over to Connie's cast party. I was about to come in, say hi, when I saw you and Connie in the theater, in each other's arms, and I knew that door was closed to me forever. I threw myself into my work after that. But then, I gradually came to accept it, and move on."

"Do you mean you're…with someone?"

"No, no, nothing like that. In fact, I think I'll always be married to my work, and I like it that way. I could never subject someone else to be bound to me, unless they were a part of this too, and even then…well, you know how little we agents end up with lasting happiness. I'm just glad you found yours.

"She's an amazing girl, Jason. You two complement each other, I think.

"But this wasn't exactly my reason for calling. I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?"

"You don't have to take me up on it. It'd be strictly off the books. But I'm trying to piece together a case. We have scant evidence, just a few overheard lines on a phone conversation of a plot to blow up the US Embassy in Brazil. One of our leads is a man named Khalid Ramon."

"Interesting name."

"Seems he's a product of a Lebanese mother and a Paraguayan father. Anyway, his name's come up before, but we've never been able to pin anything on him. It's suspected he operates a tri-border drug operation, along with possible weapons and human trafficking.

"If that wasn't enough, he's been suspected in possible terrorist plots. On the surface, he seems perfectly above board—he owns a lot of real estate and is cozy with a few Paraguayan and Brazilian politicians. He's got a way of slipping out of the way of the law—probably by corrupting a few officials along the way. I've got someone on him, a man who worked for him once. What I want from you is…I know this is a lot to ask—but you had a few contacts when you lived in Ciudad del Este during that weapons smuggling op. I was wondering if you could…get in touch with them, see what's going on on the streets."

"Tasha, it's been years. And even if my contacts were still viable, I'd have to draw them out of the woodwork. To do that, I'd have to go there."

"I know I have no right to ask this of you. It's totally optional. But we're especially slim on leads, and short on manpower in the region. No one's been stationed in Ciudad del Este for a while, and as you know, it takes time to cultivate contacts."

"So it'd be off-the-books?"

"Just a quick in-and-out op. Find out what the word on the street is, and whatever insider info you can find."

"I see. It's just that…I'm not sure if this is the best time."

"With your engagement. I understand."

"On the other hand, I haven't taken a trip in a while."

"It doesn't involve a lot of risk. That's my inside man's job."

_I used to jump at anything that involved risk,_ thought Jason. _But Tasha's right—I don't want danger. Especially now. _

"I'd have to think about it."

"That's all I'm asking."

A pause.

"Well—" said Jason.

"Well—" said Tasha, at the same time.

"It's been good to hear from you."

"Have you set a date yet?"

"Not yet. It kind of happened on a whim."

She laughed softly. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Jason. Connie doesn't know what she's getting into."

"Oh, she does. Somehow, she still said yes."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

Jason sat back against the couch. Grabbed his tea, sipped it absently. Hot peppermint bit his tongue.

If it were anyone else, he'd say no. But for Tasha—not that he owed her anything—but he still considered her a friend. They'd been through too much together to ignore their history. And there was the US embassy to consider. Lives at stake. If he could make a small difference in the outcome, how could he be selfish enough to ignore it? Especially when it was a routine mission. Just reestablish contact with some old agents, "repurpose" them for this op… And he had to admit, the potential for adventure sent a thrill through him—

_But how can I leave now?_ he thought. _How can I just leave Connie here and dash down to South America? _

_Well, there is one way…._

A thought struck him, but it was so crazy he hardly dared entertain it.

_Dear God, what would you have me to do? Should I take on this mission? But I don't see how I can just leave her like that. We are going to be together no matter what, so why not now?_

He waited for an answer, but God usually worked through circumstances rather than directly, in Jason's experience.

_I'll have to see what Connie thinks,_ he thought, and stuck his mug in the dishwasher. Then he headed over to Connie's house.


	7. Chapter 7

Connie looked in the mirror, brushing her half-damp hair. Green eyes peered out from beneath her bangs, her brown hair curling over her shoulders. Jason had said he loved her new haircut—thought it was cute. "But then, you're always cute," he'd said.

Thrills shivered through her when she thought of Jason. Of the fleeting touches—and the lingering ones—of his beautiful smile—Oh, how she longed for him to be here! Why couldn't she be with him all the time?

The doorbell rang.

She looked at her watch. 6:30. Jason coming to propose again? That wasn't such a bad possibility.

She dashed through the living room to the foyer. Peeked past the curtain through the window. Sure enough, it was Jason.

She flung open the door. "Good morning!"

"Good morning, my love!"

He wrapped her in an embrace. Kissed her forehead.

"You're early," she said. "I'm not even finished getting ready."

"I couldn't stay away. Plus, I have something to ask you."

"What is it?"

Jason leaned against the wall. "I got a call this morning. From Tasha."

"Tasha?" She didn't doubt his feelings, but she couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

"It wasn't a personal call. She wanted me to go on a mission."

Her heart dropped. "A mission?"

"Nothing dangerous. No more than it ever is in Ciudad del Este."

"Doesn't that mean 'city of the east' in Spanish?"

"That's right. It's the easternmost city of Paraguay and the second-largest. I did an op there a long time ago. Lived there for two months. There's a plot brewing against the US embassy in Brazil, and Tasha seems to think I can find out things that she couldn't."

"Do you mean—you'd be an agent again?"

"Well, more of a consultant, kind of like Dad. And it would just be a one-time thing."

An unpleasant feeling crept over her. Would Tasha take him away from her after all, in a different way? "Are you sure?"

He took her hand. "I won't go if you don't want me to."

"But do you think…this is what God wants you to do?"

"I'm not sure. There's a lot at stake. But—I don't want to leave you.

"Will you come with me?"

"Come with you—how can I—?"

"We'd have to get married first."

A sense of déjà vu swept over her. She recalled the whirlwind wedding plans before Mitch went to Budapest—and a sick feeling settled in her stomach when she recalled how that ended up. She didn't want the same thing to happen with Jason.

_I won't lose him. I can't_.

"How long would you be gone?"

"Probably just a week or so. Tasha said it'd be quick."

"Oh." Relief swept over her. It wasn't like the situation with Mitch after all—she hadn't been thinking clearly, with all the information Jason had been bombarding her with.

"It could be like a honeymoon. It's a beautiful area—there's a waterfall made of over a hundred individual falls. And you could go shopping, and we could go on excursions during the day when I wasn't working."

"That…sounds like fun." A wave of dizziness clutched her. She leaned her hand against the wall to steady herself.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "It's just that this is all so fast! I can hardly believe this—" she held up her hand with the ring, and it glittered in the light—"is real, and now you spring this on me—"

"We almost got married last night."

She laughed. "Yeah. That was pretty crazy."

"This is even crazier. But I know what I want." He drew her to him. She leaned against him, inhaling his scent, the smell of the outdoors, of wind and early morning. Beneath the fabric of his shirt, his chest was strong; his heart beat—thump-thump, thump-thump, beneath her palm.

She looked up at him. Brushed back a lock of hair from his forehead. "I know what I want, too."

"There's no reason not to be together."

"We should pray about it." She laced her fingers in his and led him to the living room. They sat down, their foreheads almost touching. And they prayed. Connie, though still in a daze, began to fall in love with the idea of going. She trembled with excitement of the prospect of marrying Jason and going on a honeymoon in South America. South America!

_Dear God_, she prayed silently, after they'd both prayed out loud. _You know my heart. I love Jason so much. Is this your plan for us? It seems so crazy, but it doesn't mean you don't want it. Maybe that's what our life will be like—crazy and fun and full of adventure. Just—not the scary kind. Please, protect Jason from that—he's had enough of the wrong kind of adventures for a lifetime._

She looked up into his blue eyes, their wild spark softened a little. "I'm glad we did this. I need to be able to see this objectively, so we don't end up rushing into something we'll regret."

She sighed. "So…do you think we should wait? I don't mind staying here, you know. It would be fun, but it's just a week, and then you'll be back."

He nodded. "Tasha could get someone else, though—it would just make her job a little harder."

"So will you go if I don't go with you?"

"I can't say anything for sure yet. It's hard for me to think clearly when you're beside me and all I want to do is be married to you, Connie Kendall."

"Me too." She ran her fingers over his hand. "Maybe we need an outside opinion."

"Dad."

She nodded. "He'll be able to tell us something we might not see ourselves."

Connie finished getting ready, and in a few minutes they headed over to Whit's End.


	8. Chapter 8

Jason used the key to open the back door since Whit's End wasn't open yet. Connie crept in beside him. The windows cast squares of golden morning light onto the checkered floor, the rest of the soda shop suffused in shadow.

They headed upstairs, the only sounds the hum of the air vent system and the echo of their footsteps in the stairwell.

The door to the office was open. Jason peeked inside. At first he didn't see his father, then he saw his shoes behind the desk on the floor.

"Dad!" He rushed forward, shook his father's shoulder. Whit stirred, looked up, his white hair disheveled.

"Jason?"

"Dad, what are you doing?"

His father cleared his throat. Sat up. "Well, it was late, so I dragged this cot out to sleep on. I do that sometimes, you know."

"How late was it?"

"Oh, four, five. I couldn't tear myself away from the new Imagination Station program."

"You should've gotten some rest."

"I did."

"What was it, like two hours?" He looked at his watch. 7:30. "I should let you get back to sleep."

"No, no, I needed to get up. Get the shop ready."

"You could go home and rest and I'll stay here and take care of the shop, if you want."

"No, I'm fine. I've gone on this much sleep before." He grabbed the edge of the desk and pushed himself to his feet.

"You're not as young as you used to be."

"Thanks for reminding me." He laughed, his eyes twinkling, making him look younger than he was.

Jason surrendered, even though it had given a shock, thinking for a few seconds something might've happened to his father. _Maybe that's one reason I want to get married so quickly—so nothing gets a chance to take away everything I love. It's kind of what I expect now, after everything that's happened. Happiness can't last._

_But no, I'm not going to expect the worst. God has a plan for us, and I can't believe it only includes suffering. Going to South America is an opportunity. To move forward with our lives—and maybe, to get things back to normal. _

"So," said his father, "You didn't come here early just to wake me up, did you?"

"We have some news to tell you," said Connie. She grasped Jason's hand. Looked up at him. She was so beautiful, her eyes alight, her hair slightly tousled. He didn't trust himself to speak. He just gave her a smile, full of love.

She lifted her hand, the ring sparkling on her finger.

"Oh, Connie!" Whit threw his arms around her. "It looks perfect. Just like it was meant to be." Connie pulled Jason into the hug too.

Whit stepped back and held both of their hands. "This is the best surprise I could've had."

"We've got another one," said Jason. "I was wondering if you could give us some advice, since I don't know how clearly I'm thinking right now."

Whit laughed. "I can't tell you if I'm thinking all that clearly either."

"But you're my dad, and the wisest man I know.

"I have an opportunity. Tasha called this morning. She has a new case, and wondered if I could do a little…unofficial work for them."

"I've done my share of that."

"It all sounds pretty routine. Just reestablishing some old contacts, see if they know anything."

"What's the case?"

"A plot to blow up the US embassy in Brazil. They don't have a lot of agents ready to go, and since I've been there—"

"Would you need to go to Brazil?"

"Actually it would be Paraguay."

"Ciudad del Este?"

Jason nodded.

"The place you got shot?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Connie. "You didn't tell me about this. You got shot there?"

"Just a graze." He brushed his upper arm where the faded bullet scar was. It really hadn't been that big of a deal, not compared to other missions.

"That's not the point! People were shooting at you! I might have to reconsider my opinion about going."

"I just got a little too close to some gunrunners. They took shots at me, and I ran through the jungle back to the city. This time, my mission would be just to find some people and talk to them."

"Dangerous people."

"No—petty criminals, mainly. People who live in the shadows, overhear things. If this were dangerous, I would never even consider bringing you along."

"Bring her along?" said Whit, an eyebrow raised. "How would that work?"

"The best way that I can think of is…get married."

"Jason!"

"Yeah. I know it sounds a little fast—but we love each other. I never want to be further from her than this." He pressed his hand to hers. "It sounds crazy—but I will pretty much go crazy without her."

"I have felt the same way. But sometimes, it's best to wait. Waiting produces perseverance, faith, self-discipline."

"I know. But sometimes, events fall into place. It all comes down to whether or not it's God's will for us, doesn't it?"

Whit nodded, his face serious. "I could pray with you, if you want."

They knelt in Whit's office in a small circle. Jason prayed fervently for God's will_, _knowing the answer might be indistinct and sooner or later, he'd have to make a choice.

Jason opened his eyes, and got to his feet. "Tasha will probably call soon," said Jason, walking out into the hallway.

"She'll need an answer right away, too, won't she," said Whit.

"Probably. I can see us flying out within the week."

Whit stopped at the top of the stairs, turned to Jason. "You're sure you want to do this?"

"It's what I know, Dad. Something I can do. As soon as Tasha called, there was something that sparked in me—something I didn't know I still wanted. I thought all that was behind me. It is; I want to move forward, Connie by my side. So I'm not going to court danger. But at the same time, I want adventure, even if it's a tamer kind than I sought out in the past. There's no reason not to do it, if it's going to help save lives."

"That life is still a part of you. That passion to use your gifts to help others."

"I'll never be a real agent again. But I need to feel…normal, if that makes sense. Move forward, get out of town for a little bit. To leave Connie here doesn't seem right. Bringing her does feel right. I know I can't rely on feelings—but if that's all I have to go on, I might have to."

"Well, if everything's falling into place, and if there are no obstacles, God might be telling you that this is the right thing to do. I can't give an answer for him, though."

As they walked downstairs, Jason turned to Connie beside him. "What do you think about going?"

"As long as it's not dangerous. For me or for you."

"The worst danger we'll be in is getting hit by some of those crazy drivers they have down there. I know which neighborhoods are safe and which aren't. We'd stay in the best hotel I could find. And I could show you around—it really is a beautiful place. I can just see you there, upstaging the waterfalls." He kissed her cheek.

"You make it sound heavenly." She leaned her forehead close to his, the top of his hair touching hers. "When you're not talking about people shooting you, that is."

"Well, if there's any danger to you at all, we're packing up and leaving."

"What about if you're in danger?"

"I'll play it by ear. If it gets too hot, I'll get out. I don't want that sort of danger any more than you do. We've had enough."

She nodded. "If you got hurt again, I'd never forgive you."

"I'm not going to risk leaving you before I've had a chance to build a life with you."

"You'd better not."

"This won't be much different than our adventures here—except there will be so much to explore. When I go looking for contacts, I could drop you off at one of the giant shopping malls."

"Wow. Now I have to go."

"Shopping's one thing I think I'll let you do by yourself."

They walked into the soda shop and helped Whit get ready for the day. At 8:30, Connie put on her apron and stationed herself behind the counter. Whit went in the back room to do inventory, and Jason bought a raspberry ripple cone.

"You ever gonna tell me the recipe for raspberry ripple?" she asked.

"It's a Whittaker family secret," he said. "So I can't tell you until we get married."

"Oh. Well, that's extra incentive for me to marry you then." She leaned over the counter, and gave him a gentle kiss.

Just then, Jason's phone rang in his pocket. He picked it up. "Hi. This is Jason."

"Hello, Jason," said Tasha. "Have you thought any more about my proposal?"

"I've prayed about it."

"And?"

"Do you need an answer now?"

"It'd be nice. I'm under a lot of pressure here."

"Well—" Jason looked at Connie, looking perfect, her hair dangling over her shoulders, her arms resting on the counter. "Yes. You can count on me."


	9. Chapter 9

Connie sat on a bench in a room of the church, leaning her head in her hands. She realized she wasn't breathing, and took a deep breath.

Penny put a hand on Connie's shoulder. "It'll be okay. You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"No-not about marrying Jason. But is this the right time?" She looked up at Penny, who wore a lavender dress. "It's all so fast."

"Well, Jason would understand if you didn't want to get married now."

"Would he? What if this is our only chance to get married? What if something comes up and—and we don't ever get married?"

"Why would that happen?"

"Jason could go on the mission and there could be a plane crash! Or Gray could come back—you never know when he'll show up. Or he could start going on missions and get taken away from me and—"

"Connie."

"What?"

"Breathe."

"Okay." She took a breath. This time it helped a little more.

"Besides, I don't think that will happen."

"What?"

"Any of those things. You're just having pre-wedding nerves. I've got it too but I'm only a maid of honor so I can't imagine what you're feeling."

"I know. I hardly know what to do or think. But I know one thing: I want to be with Jason for the rest of my life."

"Well, that's all that matters. You love him. And so you're getting married."

"I'm getting married! I think I just realized it. It's not really how I imagined it—especially since Mom can't be here." Her breath caught.

"She _is_ here, Connie."

"I know." She hugged Penny, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh! I'd better not do this." She wiped the tears away, gently so she didn't ruin the makeup.

"I don't think a little mascara smudge will matter to Jason."

"I don't want to look like a witch though."

"You look stunning." Penny tucked a piece of hair behind Connie's ear.

"I can't wait to see Jason!"

"Just a little longer."

Connie stood in front of the mirror. She wore a white, ankle-length dress and a white flower in her hair. Silver sparkles glittered across her eyelids, and coral pink lipstick shimmered on her lips. She dabbed beneath her eyes with a handkerchief Penny offered, and stepped back. Took another breath. "I think I'm ready. I wish Dad could've made it though."

"Hopefully he'll be here for the second wedding."

They'd opted for a simple, rehearsal-like wedding because of the short notice. Connie hadn't wanted to just step into an office, say their vows, and be done with it, especially since she wasn't sure if she wanted a big wedding or not; she at least wanted a little ceremony. And this way, they'd be married no matter what they decided later on.

Married.

To Jason.

She could hardly get her mind around it. Excitement raced through her veins as she turned toward the door.

The piano played the first notes of the bridal chorus.

Her heart leaped. "Oh!" she said, and sought Penny's hand. Penny put her arm around Connie's and led her out into the foyer. Whit was waiting for her there in a dark suit. He smiled and took her arm. "You look beautiful, Connie."

"Thanks, Whit."

"Ready?"

She nodded. Hoping she wouldn't start crying during the ceremony, though there was no guarantee.

The church doors opened, Eugene opening one and Wooton opening the other. Katrina met her inside the doorway, and she and Penny walked slowly up the aisle.

Connie walked behind them, Whit beside her, feeling as if she might float up through the ceiling. She wobbled a little on her high heels and stopped for a moment, her head spinning. _I should've eaten breakfast this morning_, she thought, _but I was too excited to eat! I hope I don't faint. _

She ventured another step. Another. Halfway there. Ahead stood the pastor, and beside him—

Jason.

She drew in a breath.

He was—stunning. Beautiful. He was always amazingly good looking, but now—in his black suit and tie—one lock of hair falling over his forehead, as if rebelling from any attempt at control—his eyes—oh, his eyes drew her in, blue, mesmerizing—she walked forward, as if hypnotized. Faster until soon she was standing beside him.

She could hardly hear when the pastor began—"We are gathered here today, in the sight of God, to join Jason Whittaker and Connie Kendall in holy matrimony—"

He spoke on the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13; Connie tried to concentrate—this was her wedding, she wanted to make every moment count—but Jason kept distracting her. She wanted to take his hands, draw him to her. _How could I possibly think I could wait months for this, when I can't even wait for a few minutes?_

Somewhere in the distance, she heard the words, "Do you, Jason Whittaker, take Connie Kendall to be your wife, to love and to cherish her, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"Do you, Connie Kendall, take Jason Whittaker to be your husband, to love and to cherish him, as long as you both shall live?"

She stood there, frozen. The pastor cleared his throat. She gasped, hoping no one had taken her not answering for hesitation.

"I do."

Jason slipped the ring onto her finger.

Penny handed her Jason's ring, and with trembling hands, she slipped it onto his finger.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Jason stepped forward. Leaned down, and took Connie's chin in his hand, as gently as if holding a flower. He caught her eyes, lingering for a moment, before bringing his lips to hers.

The world faded.

He was near her, and that was all that mattered.

They embraced, and then, reluctantly, she pulled back. Holding his hand, she descended the steps with him, still in a daze.

_We are married now_, she thought.

_I am his. _

_He is mine. _

_And nothing can ever tear us apart. _


	10. Chapter 10

Connie leaned her head on Jason's shoulder. He slipped a strand of hair gently back from her face. She looked up at him, so beautiful he could hardly restrain himself from kissing her right then. They were on an airplane, though, and if he started, he didn't know if he could stop.

_We're married,_ he thought, trying to let the idea sink in; he had just gotten used to being engaged. He couldn't stop thinking of her coming toward him in her white dress, a white rose in her hair. And she was right beside him now, just as beautiful, just as real.

He took her hand, and she ran her fingers up and down his, stopping at his wedding ring, rubbing its golden surface. "You're mine now, Jason Whittaker."

"You're mine too, Connie Kendall. I mean, Connie Whittaker."

"I forgot that's my name! It seems like this is all just a dream. This is real, isn't it?"

"It better be. If I wake up, I'll just go back to sleep, and find you again."

He longed to take her in his arms, smother her in kisses….ignore the rest of the passengers. He couldn't help but wish that the plane was deserted, and that they had it all to themselves. Or that there was a faster way to get to Paraguay, so that he could be alone with her….

Although he couldn't exactly complain. He was with her, and that was all that mattered.

"How much longer?" she asked. After the reception at noon, they'd flown from Odyssey to Chicago, Chicago to Miami, and were now headed from Miami to Asunción.

"About eight hours. Then we still have to take a flight from Asunción to Ciudad del Este."

"Wow."

"I'm sorry we had to go overnight, but this was the only flight I could get at such short notice."

"That's okay. I don't feel tired at all."

"Well, we've got—" he looked at his watch—"about nine more hours to go."

"_Now_ you're making me feel tired."

"Sorry!"

"You've got nothing to be sorry about." She kissed his cheek. "I'm loving every minute of this, Jason."

"When we get there, we'll have the first day to ourselves. I'll take you to the waterfall if you want. Or else we could just stay at the hotel—we'll be really tired unless we get some sleep on the plane."

"Well, maybe I should try to sleep, then."

"Good idea."

She leaned her seat back, and Jason took some airline pillows out of the overhead compartment. She laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. He drew his fingers gently along her cheek; she smiled. Took his hand, and kissed it along the edge of his wrist. Thrills ran down his arm. He felt an incomparable urge to kiss her, and never stop—

He pulled his arm gently away, but she took it, and threaded her fingers between his. He lay back, trying to sleep, his hand like a burning point where two flames met. He couldn't stop thinking of her; even when sleep almost seduced him with its benign darkness, her presence dragged him back out again.

He was just about to go to sleep for the hundredth time when she stirred, and slid her seat back up. He opened his eyes.

"Oh—sorry!" she said. "Did I wake you up?"

"Not really."

"I couldn't sleep. I'm too excited."

"I couldn't sleep either."

"Oh. You were so still, I thought—What time is it?"

He sat back up, looked at his watch. "Ten o'clock. Eight more hours to go."

She leaned forward, clasping her hands over her knees. "Shall we make a night of it?"

"I'm game if you are. We'll be up for more than twenty-four hours, though. Plus jetlag. Plus the wedding."

"I know. I just—don't feel like sleeping right now."

They both ordered some coffee, then they played some games on Jason's iPad. They got so involved in them at one point that the man in front of them looked over the seat told them to keep it down.

After that, Jason turned on a movie—_Pride and Prejudice_. The long miniseries version_. If anything will put me to sleep, this will_, he thought. With one earbud apiece, they watched it and Connie provided commentary. He did enjoy the commentary, and he enjoyed the movie more than he thought he would.

By the time the movie ended, they'd burned up six hours. Connie yawned. "I think I am tired now…" she said. "Even one hour's better than nothing." She huddled into her pillow. He stayed awake and fiddled on his iPad.

After about half an hour, the plane shook, bumping up and down. For a sickening moment, it freefell. Connie shot up. "What was that?"

"It's probably just turbulence," he said, fear leaping inside him even though he knew the chances were small that it was serious.

The captain told them, in Spanish and then English, that they were skirting a minor thunderstorm. "It should be over in a few minutes, ladies and gentlemen."

Just then, the plane trembled again, as if a massive hand had grabbed it. Jason put his arm around Connie.

And a moment later, the plane leveled out. Out of the window, clouds appeared, the morning sun glowing through them. They flew through a wonderland of white, smaller gray clouds floating among the mountainous curls and curves, like huge pieces of fluffy popcorn.

Connie leaned toward the window, morning light caressing her face. She looked like an angel, untouchable by human hands.

Soon, the plane descended through a misty veil of white. A vast green land spread out beneath them, bathed in sunlight. Miles and miles of fields, dotted with houses and small towns. Then, the glittering city appeared, and the plane angled down for a landing, the runway coming up beneath it.

The plane rumbled to a stop, the terminal visible just outside the window.

"We're here!" said Connie.

"Not quite."

"We're in Paraguay, right?"

He nodded. "Asunción. Ciudad del Este is just a forty-five minute flight from here."

"It'll be nice to have a hotel to rest in."

In a few minutes, they got off the plane, went through customs, got their passports stamped, and then waited for the connecting flight.

Connie read her book, _Redeeming Love_, and Jason read the news on his iPad, though he could hardly concentrate with her so close to him. After about an hour, an announcement came through in Spanish that their plane would be delayed.

"Connie," he said.

"What?" She looked up from her book.

"Our flight's going to be delayed."

"How long?"

"They didn't say. Maybe we should get some breakfast."

"I am hungry, now that you mention it. And I need some coffee."

They had breakfast in one of the airport cafes. Then they wandered around, looking through the souvenir shops.

It was almost noon by the time their flight was announced. "We probably could've driven there by now," said Jason. He was used to delays when traveling, but he wanted everything to go smoothly, for Connie's sake. It was their honeymoon after all.

They took a small plane from Asunción to Ciudad del Este. Connie looked out the window, exclaiming about things that she saw below. "I wish we were down there right now," she said. "It seems like forever since we were in Odyssey. I don't think I've ever been on such a long flight!"

"It won't be long now," he said.

Soon, they landed at Guarani International Airport. They waited for their luggage, but it didn't come around on the carousel. Jason asked the attendant, who said that the flight their luggage was on had been delayed. "It should arrive by the end of the day," said the attendant.

"Well, at least I have my carryon," said Connie. "I've been in these clothes since yesterday morning! As much as I love my wedding dress, it's no fun to wear it for two days in a row. I'm probably a mess right now."

"You're beautiful as ever." He took her hand. "I think what we should do is go back to the hotel, get settled in. We can arrange for a call when our luggage arrives. Then I can come and pick it up."

"Sounds good." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm starting to feel pretty tired now."

His heart went out to her—this had been a long trip, even for him. He was used to it—then again, he'd just gotten married. He longed to be alone with her. For everything around them to collapse into insignificance, and to wrap her in his arms.

Jason called a taxi and they piled into it. The driver drove through the heavy mid-afternoon traffic, until it came to the residential area, and the large elegant houses of the Parana country club. Finally, the taxi pulled up at Hotel Casa Blanca. Jason paid the driver in guaranis and they went inside, Jason carrying Connie's bag for her. The man at the front desk gave him a key—after the delays of the morning, Jason half-expected the room not to be available—and they went up to the second floor.

At the door, he said, "Wait."

"What?"

"This!"

He lifted her up off the ground, and carried her through the door. Laid her down onto the bed, where she collapsed into the pillows.

"I can order room service, if you want," he said.

"That would be nice…." She stretched out on the white bedspread in her white wedding dress.

A light lunch came in a half an hour later, and Connie sat up to eat a sandwich and some fruit. Jason sat on the bed beside her. Just as he finished, his phone rang. The luggage had arrived.

"I'll go get it," he said.

"Okay." She lay back down.

Jason went to get it. It was about 4:00 when he returned and wheeled their two suitcases inside.

Connie was lying on the bed, fast asleep. She still had her shoes on; he gently took them off, but dared not move her otherwise. He put on his pajamas, and lay down beside her. He couldn't believe she was here next to him. He was dead tired, but he didn't know how he'd be able to go to sleep.

Before he knew it, though, darkness swept him in its arms.

* * *

In the middle of the night, he woke up. The full moon shone through the window, creating pale gold patterns on the floor.

Beside him, Connie's eyes caught his.

She reached over, caressed his face. "I can't believe you're mine," she said. "All mine, and no one else's."

He cupped her chin in his hand. Her eyes were mysterious depths. Her skin was as soft as a peach's, and she smelled like wildflowers. He drew his hand along her cheek, sliding it into her hair, and pulled her to him.

A kiss that lasted forever, and a single achingly wonderful moment. A perfect, endless kiss, as he immersed in all that was her.

He moved on to her cheek, her forehead, her neck—_I never have to stop this_, he thought. _We're together, nothing between us. _

When he pulled back for a breath, she leaned over him, kissing his jawline, just below his ear. Kissing him down his neck, then reached his collarbone. She carefully unbuttoned his shirt, her hands trembling. He sat up a little, and she pulled his shirt off his shoulders.

Pain shot through his left shoulder. He gasped.

"Oh!" she said. "Did I hurt you?"

"No—no, you didn't. It was—that shoulder acts up sometimes."

"I'm sorry!"

"No, I'm fine. Just—ignore it." He didn't want any of that darkness to invade his time with her.

"I can't ignore it, Jason. Your pain—your scars—they're a part of me too. I just wish I could fix them. Make it so that it never had to happen to you." A tear slipped onto her cheek. He couldn't bear it. That what that man had done had to mar this time that was supposed to be only theirs—

She gently touched the scar along his left shoulder, where the knife had stabbed into his flesh. She leaned over and kissed it. Pressed her warm lips to it, soothing some of its ache.

"Better?" she said.

He nodded.

"This is one remedy we haven't tried yet. We couldn't, before tonight."

She kissed the gunshot wound, beneath his heavily beating heart.

"I hope you knew you were buying damaged goods." He attempted a laugh.

"Jason, I love you just the way you are. I wish I could kiss away all of your scars, but I'll take them, if it means taking you. You are so beautiful to me. Your scars are beautiful, because of you. They show who you are, that the pain couldn't defeat you." She kissed the burn mark on his chest, his arm, his ribs. The knife slash across his chest. He felt so unworthy of her—but as she continued, he felt the pain dissolve from his memory…and somehow, it didn't matter so much anymore. Warm tears slipped onto his cheeks at this realization. He gathered her to him, and abandoned himself to their love.


	11. Chapter 11

Jason woke up, wrapped up in her arms. He felt like a new man. His soul felt buoyant, fresh. He could take on anything, as if the dark events of the past few months had never been.

She lay beside him, her eyes closed. He ran his hand down the side of her cheek, brushing back a tangle of her soft hair. He couldn't help but kiss her lightly on the lips.

She stirred, her eyes fluttering open. Emerald facets drew him in. She smiled, snuggled closer to him, her skin warm against his.

He gave her some more kisses; she laughed, and kissed him in return.

She lay back against his chest, and he caressed the top of her shoulder, running his fingers down her arm. She buried her fingers in his hair, twirling it absently.

After a while of lying there in the morning sunlight, she flipped over, leaned over his chest. "I suppose we'd better get up."

"I'd be okay with staying in this room the whole time." He slipped his hand into her hair, longing for more of her, always. He didn't know how he could leave this room. Go on a mission? That seemed distant, insignificant.

"We could, couldn't we. But there's a whole country out there I've never been to. And then we can come back here tonight."

"That's the problem. I have to leave you here at night. I still have the mission."

"Oh. That." She pursed her lips.

He sighed, sat up. "We might as well get it over with. Want to go down and get some breakfast?"

She nodded, smoothing back her beautifully messy hair. She climbed out of bed and got dressed, her flawless form concealed by a pink blouse and shorts. White sandals slipped onto her delicate feet.

They went downstairs for breakfast. A wonderful omelet with fresh fruit and bread and cheese, coffee and orange juice. He ate a lot; he was hungry. Then he called a cab, and they piled in to go to Iguazu Falls.

The taxi wound through the upscale neighborhood, the driver pointing out things of interest, then sped onto the highway before dropping them off at the ferry.

Connie stood on deck beside him, the wind whipping her hair back. He put his arm around her, and she pressed close to him. Her eyes reflected the river, the sky—there was so much depth to them, depths he might never discover in a lifetime. He would savor every moment of getting to know every dimension of who she was. He would never let anything get in the way; in fact, he wished that he didn't have the mission at all. All he wanted was to spend time with her.

"Is that Brazil over there?" she asked, pointing to the tree-lined bank.

"Yes. And over there's Argentina." He pointed to the right.

"So when you were here before, did you go to all three of the countries?"

"I did. I was hopping from one country to another, trying to keep a step ahead of the smuggling organization."

"And then they shot you."

He showed her the scar on his arm where the bullet had grazed. "It's just a scratch compared to…the others."

"You're sure there won't be any danger this time?"

"Well, there's always some danger. But I'm not going to go looking for it, that's for sure. I don't want to risk anything taking me away from you."

"You'd better not," she said, her eyes serious despite her smile.

* * *

Connie leaned over the railing, mist rising from below. Across the river, waterfalls cascaded over the rocky ledge, framed by jungle trees. A toucan flew across the river and landed in a branch near them. It tipped its head sideways, looking down at her.

"It's all so perfect!" she said. "Like a fairytale. I'm glad you dragged me down here."

"I didn't exactly drag you."

"But you convinced me. It was a crazy idea."

"But a good one."

"Yeah. I can't imagine being back in Odyssey, going about my old life, not being married to you. I don't want to imagine it, in case I break the spell." She wondered if she closed her eyes, this beautiful dream would all fade away….

She took his hand, as if to make sure he was real, and they walked along the wooden walkway. They wound their way down to the boat tours. Connie buckled her orange life jacket on and sat beside Jason. The boat sped off down the river, slowing as they neared the waterfall. Before she knew it, they were beneath it, and water splashed onto her, soaking her completely. She swiped wet hair out of her eyes, and looked at Jason, just as wet as she was. She laughed, and screamed as the boat took them under the waterfall again.

After the boat brought them back to shore, Jason took her to one of the islands and they lay on the beach, drying off in the sun. She put her head on a tuft of grass, the clouds floating by in the brilliant blue of the sky, the static-like sound of the waterfalls filling the air. Orange butterflies fluttered past; one of them landed on her chin. She wanted to laugh—it tickled—but she didn't want to scare it. It opened and closed its wings, and looked at her with its multifaceted eyes. Then it flew away, higher into the sky until she couldn't see it anymore.

Jason took her wrist and softly kissed her hand. His eyes were the color of the sky—his hair falling across his forehead, still a little damp. She couldn't help but remember last night. The symphony they'd shared. How he was more amazing than she could have possibly imagined. It was as if she possessed a precious secret that she never had to share with anyone, only with him. It filled her with an incomparable joy such as she had never known. She didn't know how she could love him more—it filled her completely, humming through every cell in her body, through the core of her soul. She leaned over and kissed him, gazing into his eyes, knowing he loved her just as she loved him.

Reluctantly, she got up again, shaking sand off of her clothes. They hiked back up the hill and took the train through the jungle. Monkeys swung through the trees, looking down at them curiously. The train stopped and they followed a boardwalk along the waterfalls, until it jutted out over the edge. A sign said Garganta del Diablo—Devil's Throat. Connie gripped the edge of the railing; the river poured toward its broad mouth, turning white as it cascaded into the mists below. Cold droplets sprayed onto her face and arms. A rainbow appeared in the mists of the falls.

Jason stood beside her, his arm leaning on the railing, just touching hers, and they watched the waterfall together, absorbing its power and majesty. Alone, together, in paradise.

* * *

The sun set in the west by the time they climbed back into the taxi. An ache pierced Connie's heart; she wanted to capture this day and stay inside it forever.

But of course there would be more wonderful times that they'd share together. Every moment with him had its own version of magic. She just dreaded the time when he'd have to leave her side.

After the ferry dropped them back off at Paraguay, they took a bus back to the city. The bus drove through the streets for over an hour; their stop was one of the last. Darkness filled the sky; taxis and motorcycles and cars zipped through the streets, the tall buildings coming alive with lights.

Connie leaned on Jason's shoulder, her hand against the hard muscles of his bicep; she marveled at his strength.

The bus jerked to a stop. Jason stiffened. His body seemed locked in complete tension. Connie sat up.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He didn't answer. He lifted his hand, and pointed out the window.

The bus rumbled to a start again. Jason sighed, leaned back, a shudder running through him.

"I'm sorry, Connie. I—it's just instinct. I thought I saw—but it couldn't be him."

Dread struck her. She hated the fear in his voice. She hated to find out what he'd seen, but she asked anyway.

"Who, Jason?"

"It must be my imagination. It has to be. Nothing else makes sense." He looked at her. "I thought I saw—Gray."


	12. Chapter 12

"How could it be Gray?" asked Connie.

Fear shivered through Jason as the bus lurched around the corner. Along with generous doses of shame. He shouldn't let this get to him. Even if it was Gray, he had forgiven him. Fought an uphill battle to shed his fear. And Connie had erased so much of the residual fear in his memory—but now it was back again, full force. The man who had tortured him, here, in Paraguay, in front of his eyes.

_Unless I am going crazy—no. I can't do this to her. I have to stay rational. I can't let anything ruin our honeymoon. _

The phone buzzed at his hip. He took it out, his hand shaking. Restricted. He had a feeling who it would be.

"Hello, Tasha," he said.

"Jason. How'd you know it was me?"

"How do you think?"

"Where are you? I can hardly hear you."

"We're on a bus."

"Connie's with you?"

"Yes."

"You're married?"

"Yes. We are."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you. I take it it's time to start my mission?"

"I hate to interrupt your honeymoon."

"Well, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be down here, so—I owe you, I guess."

"All right. Perhaps we should wait until we're in a secure location."

"Good idea. I need to drop Connie off at the hotel."

"I'll call in half an hour."

"Okay."

Jason put the phone back in his pocket. His hands were still shaking. It was a wonder that he'd been able to speak to Tasha without his voice betraying him.

Connie took his hand. Wrapped it in both of hers, comforting him. He closed his eyes. Against the backdrop of his memory, he could see the man's outline, clothed in a white shirt and gray pants, with blond hair catching the light as he moved through the crowd and disappeared. Jason froze the image in his mind, daring to examine it to see if he could be mistaken.

The man was thinner than Gray, and walked with a limp, but at the same time, Jason could never forget the man who had been in intimate quarters with him for endless hours, every motion, every look, a prelude to pain.

Was there a chance he could be wrong? Yes. And he clung to that chance. At the same time, he couldn't take the risk that Gray could be out there. He'd escaped once. It was unlikely, but he could escape again. And if he ever got near Connie….

Fear ripped through his heart. How could he leave her alone now?

"It could be someone who looks like him, couldn't it?" said Connie.

"Probably," said Jason. "I know him, though, more than I know almost anyone. It might just be my fear filling in the blanks after seeing someone that looked similar. At the same time, I thought I was over this. Last night—you were amazing, you know." He took a strand of her hair in his hand. Her mouth tipped into a wry smile, her eyes reminiscing with him. "Your love—knowing you deeper than I ever have before—changed me. Made me better. I thought the fear had disappeared too. But I guess the scars are so deep that I'll always have to live with them."

"I'm sorry."

He kissed her cheek. "You, my love, have nothing to be sorry about." Her neck, just below her jawline, enticed him, but he refrained from kissing it, with effort. "If you can't erase it, no one can. It's not like I'm special, anyway. Many others have gone through far worse and have to live with it every day. If it was Gray, I can hardly believe it's just a coincidence that we're both here at the same time."

"He might come after us," she said, her eyes large and shimmering with fear that broke his heart.

_Phantom or not,_ thought Jason, _I'm not going to let him ruin our time together. I may have forgiven him, but that doesn't mean I'll let him hurt us again. _

_I will let him take me, do anything with me, if it means saving her from him. _

The bus rumbled to a stop. Jason got out, Connie's arm in his. The darkness among the bushes around the building seemed a little too dark. Anything could hide there. He walked faster, almost running into the hotel.

Up in their room, somehow he felt safer. As if Gray could not invade the sacred space they shared. He breathed a sigh of relief, and sat on the bed. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, and they sat there silently for a while.

"I wish you didn't have to go," she said.

"Me too. Just one more kiss." He gave her a slow, lingering kiss. She grasped the back of his neck, pressing closer. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her to him, kissing her in a feverish frenzy, needing more of her, always. The hot coals of her lips consumed him, possessed him like brands pressed to his flesh. Her eyes were shadowed, a fire burning deep within them, and he slid his hand beneath her shirt, meeting velvet-smooth skin along her waist.

The phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out—and let it drop onto the floor.

* * *

A scream woke him. His own.

He could still feel the pain slashing his chest as Gray cut into him—just like hundreds of nightmares before. Tears fell onto his cheeks; he sat up, sweat cooling on his skin.

"Jason!" said Connie. She knelt beside him, grasped his shoulders. "Gray?"

He nodded, breathing hard.

"It'll be okay." She drew him closer, and he leaned his head on her shoulder. She stroked his hair, running her hand gently through it down to his neck, and his heartbeat slowed to normal. He felt ashamed of showing this side of himself; she'd already had to deal with so much. Gray's appearance yesterday had probably triggered the nightmares. What he dreaded most was if he became startled at sudden movements behind him again, like that time he'd hurt Connie. And what if he hurt her during his nightmares? As much as he loved sleeping beside her, perhaps it would be better if he slept on the floor, where he wouldn't bother her.

He pulled away, and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I…don't want to hurt you."

"You didn't! Jason, it's fine. I'm here for you no matter what. I don't care how many times you wake me up; I want to be here for you when you do."

"It's not just that. What if…what if I thought you were someone attacking me? What if—"

"You won't."

"What if I did?"

"You're worth the risk. Besides, it didn't happen. If it did, we'd find a better solution than you sleeping somewhere else. Come here." She patted the bed beside her.

He slid back into bed. The nightmare had skewed his perceptions—he'd never actually acted out his dreams before; there was no reason to believe he'd start now. But if he did, he wasn't going to risk hurting her. If he began to have panic attacks again, one way or another he was going to make sure he didn't hurt her, either physically or emotionally.

She kissed his forehead, and wrapped her arm tightly around him. He pressed close to her, so close that no nightmares could get through. And then, sleep came, washing over him like a gentle wave.

* * *

He woke up, a hollow in the sheets beside him. He flipped over to see Connie sitting in a chair by the table. Sunlight splashed through the cracks in the curtains; he felt heavy, but good, as if he'd slept for a long time.

"What time is it?" he said.

"Nine o'clock," said Connie, looking up from her book. "Good morning."

"'Morning." He slid to a sitting position, and stretched. Then he stood up and walked over to her. Massaged the tops of her shoulders.

"Mm. That feels good." She leaned into his hands, and he worked out the knots in her muscles. "I'm probably still recovering from that plane trip."

"Me too."

"Okay, now it's your turn." Just as she stood, his phone buzzed on the table. He vaguely remembered throwing it on the floor last night.

"It rang earlier," she said, "but I just couldn't wake you up."

"I suppose I should answer it," said Jason. Though he dreaded what Tasha would say after he had forgotten to check in last night.

"Hello?"

"Jason! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"What happened?"

"I forgot to answer last night."

"What was I supposed to think? Something could have happened to you. You may not be an agent anymore, but you agreed to help, and if I can't expect that—"

"I'm sorry. It's just that…I wasn't all that reliable as an agent either, if you remember."

"I do. But you always came through eventually."

"More or less."

"It can't be easy, balancing this and your honeymoon. But there are lives at stake."

"I know." For that reason alone, he had to dismiss his fear. Now that it was morning, Gray's appearance last night seemed not more than a bad dream. He'd treat it that way, and ignore it.

Except where Connie's safety was concerned. He couldn't take any chances.

"Now, due to my inside man, I have learned more about Ramon that will help you in your investigation. The information is encrypted on a flash drive in the Parque Lago de la Republica, under the trash can next to Avenida del Lago."

"Got it."

"I'll call within two days to see what you've learned. I'm counting on you."

"I won't let you down."

He set the phone back on the table.

"So…you have to leave," she said.

He nodded. "As much as I'd like to keep doing what we've been doing, it's time to get to work."


End file.
